– That’s what happens: one second I’m totally determined, next I’m lying on the floor, shaking, terrified, waiting for my strength to come and get me.
– Darling, you’re not determined then. You’re just waiting for someone to be worth your time. You’re scared of being alone, even when you are.
– But Dr., how can…
– It’s ok. Everybody’s scared of something or someone. But mostly something. Specially of being alone. Don’t fool yourself: you’re not determined, like you say. You’re just hanging to a dream, an illusion, a imaginary thing that maybe never will come true.
As the session ended, I walked out the door. And never came back. I stopped paying people who told me the exact thing I was thinking: I’m crazy. Crazy and very fucking lonely.